Are You a Doormat?

By Carlene Cai Randolph

Are you the person who finds themselves constantly saying “yes” to everyone else’s requests and sacrificing their own needs in the process? If you’re feeling like you’ve become a doormat, it’s time to step back and ask yourself why this is happening.

If you’re like many overwhelmed 40 year old women entrepreneurs, you find yourself constantly doing everything for everyone else. You take on too much, and in the process, your own needs get sacrificed. You don’t realize it until you’re exhausted and resentful, wondering why you can’t do something for yourself.

Take Time to Evaluate

The first step to reclaiming your power is to take some time to evaluate why you’re doing this. Are you afraid of saying “no” and disappointing someone? Are you trying to prove your worth? Are you worried about how others will react? Take a step back and ask yourself why you’re feeling like a doormat.

Once you’ve identified the root cause of your behavior, it’s time to take action. Start by setting boundaries for yourself. Evaluate your commitments and decide what you’re willing to take on and what you need to let go of. Respect your own needs and be honest with yourself about what you can and can’t do.

Practice Saying “No”

It can be difficult to say “no”, especially if you’re a people pleaser. But it’s important to recognize that it’s ok to say “no” and that you don’t owe anyone an explanation. Practice saying “no” and be firm in your decision. Remind yourself that it’s ok to prioritize yourself and that you don’t have to do everything for everyone else.

When you say “no” to someone, try to be gracious and understanding. Let them know that you appreciate their request but that you need to prioritize yourself. You can also offer alternative solutions, such as suggesting someone else who can help them. This will help them to understand that you’re not trying to be unhelpful.

Take Care of Yourself

It’s important to remember to take care of yourself, both mentally and physically. Make time for yourself and do something that you enjoy. Spend time with friends and family and do activities that relax you. Don’t forget to get enough sleep and to eat healthy. Taking care of yourself will help you to have the energy to take on the things that you do want to do.

Also, don’t forget to be kind to yourself. Don’t beat yourself up if you mess up or if you don’t get something done. Remind yourself that it’s ok to make mistakes and that you can learn from them. Be gentle with yourself and don’t forget to celebrate your successes.


If you’re feeling like a doormat, it’s important to take the time to recognize why this is happening and to evaluate your commitments. Practice saying “no” and be firm in your decision. Lastly, don’t forget to take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. Remember that it’s ok to prioritize yourself and that it’s not necessary to do everything for everyone else.

By taking the time to practice self-care, you can reclaim your power and start living life on your own terms. So go ahead and take the first step – it’s never too late to start.