The silence seemed to last a lifetime yet I knew it had only been for a few days. The walls closed in around me. No door slamming nor keys falling to the table because he left days before. I wondered if i should call to apologize for making him feel uncomfortable with expressing my thoughts so passionately. Wait a minute! Why am I feeling like this?! “Better that I experience a few days of sorrow than a lifetime on pain or worse arguing without end,” I say to myself. It just isn’t worth the heartache.
In the days before, he and I spent hours on end fussing over his inability to align his actions to his promises to me. I felt used even worse like he wanted me to be someone else. Heck over the years the relationship was purely physical, and neither of us wanted to say that out loud to one another. I began asking myself and him “what about any of this defines us or our situation? Surely we weren’t being honest with one another?” Heck I even told myself that starting over again was too much work and way to much time…it wasn’t worth it to me. But it wasn’t exactly what “he” had in mind.
How many times have you found yourself in a similar situation? Did one of you attempt to force the other to “love” when there was nothing? Or is this a job that clearly did not suit you morally causing inner turmoil by close of busy? Is that family member taking things to far with manipulating and lying? Yes, letting go is a little less hard to do when we understand that there is a lesson for all when consistent inconsistency, breaking trust, needy behavior, dysfunctional interactions, inactive listening, indifference or shattered identities surface. Just because that person or job was perfect for us in the beginning it doesn’t mean it will remain that way. Change happens and you need to be ready and steady on your feet.
Letting go and moving on from a failing relationship will make us happier and healthier. Of course you don’t want to see anyone hurt or disenchanted by the news to break off the relationship but it may be the best decision for you both. Besides life goes on and so to will your lives.
Here is a bit of advice:
- Do a periodic health check of your relationships
- Decide if this is the relationship for you (be honest)
- Are you achieving your goals or dreams?
- Are you the person you always wanted to be?
You have the power to change your destiny to leave with gratitude and respect. Leave the door open for a successful next relationship and make a deposit into your love consciousness accounts by moving forward in love.
There is “power” in letting go!
Love and Light, Coach Cai