No one wants to be taken for granted and surely I must have misread her side eye and harsh response to my question. “I mean really, was it necessary for such negativity!?” I quickly raised my voice in resentment and demanded that we have a more civil resolution to managing our project. This behavior was repetitive and disruptive over the years. Needless to say I decided that she was not a true friend and I set out to end a twenty year dysfunctional relationship. In retrospection, it was a very significant phase in my life. It was time to make a healthy change in my friendship pool. Maintaining healthy relationships can take time and sincere effort. And the success of those efforts are based on the value placed on the interactions, support, integrity, happiness, and character of all parties. Whether personal or professional, respecting individual’s space, time and personal wishes may mean the difference of long term or short term relationships.
Let’s talk about what made that an unhealthy relationship:
- Feeling pressure of agreeing with the other person
- Consistent display of manipulative behavior by the other person
- Frequently experience of lack of fairness
The aforementioned behaviors, to name a few can be frequent, hard to avoid and stressful.
Now that I have given you something to think about let us talk about why its so important to move into healthier relationships family, friends, co-workers and romantic partners.
The honest truth is happy healthy relationships have a healthy balance of stress. Sure there is some give and take but you always have security, honesty and privacy between the parties in the relationship. For example, he decided to ensure that the coffee maker was prepped and ready for his partner daily but what mattered most is that he encouraged his significant other to talk about what has challenged their day tot day lives with one another. It was a chance to make a good impression and reinforce the trust and respect they had for one another.
Know yourself and what it takes to please you. Be honest about that information with your prospective partner whether in your personal life or your professional life. Work through the difficult times with the idea that each person is say to be themselves without retribution. Relax and enjoy the silence together or be playful when the situation calls for changing challenging issues to allow for comfort for all. Recognize that defining what it means to be in a committed relationship and making the most of your difference will greatly improve your experiences together and apart.
Happy endings do come true, Cai
Coach Cai 